In Praise of: Party Friendfinder Soul-Mates
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Posted:Apr 23, 2020 12:12 pm
Last Updated:Nov 6, 2020 11:56 pm
10836 Views
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My heart's calculatin'
My true love will be waitin'
Be waitin' at the end of my ride
Move 'em on, head 'em up
Head 'em up, move 'em on
Move 'em on, head 'em up
Rawhide
If there is anything in this community that is reliable, it is regular notifications from beautiful women from all over the world who have determined after- no doubt- exhaustive research (no mean feat when you are a Standard Member) that I may be the *one* for them. Through such wondrous outreach, I am sure that- over time- every in this community has acquired incontrovertible evidence that he is *god's gift women*. What a blessing it is have a place in Party Friendfinder's *All-Star Trophy Cabinet*!
Not look a gift- in the mouth, but I do feel the need impose a bit of order on my unbridled popularity. For your consideration, I offer these "New Rules" for candidate *Soul Mates*:
1. A Little Short of 1,000 Words Although the single picture posted with your profile is seductive, if you are trolling (oops, I mean "searching") for a soul-mate, you have provide at least . It may complicate your culling of obscure websites for fake pictures, but I am absolutely worth the effort.
2. Perhaps It Does Take a Village If you truly live in a town in Iowa with population 1,3 and have a face that is assuredly the most attractive thing within 0 miles (outside of the all-you can eat Sunday pancake feeds at the Legion Hall), consider assembling a security detail. With a population of 25 million self-identified sex addicts, you are shit--a-fly for more than a few Party Friendfinder stalkers, especially now that gasoline is so cheap.
3. Many-Splendored Penises If you are really in search of "true love" in an "honest, monogamous" relationship, you need exercise some discretion and work towards a Friends Network is more than an album of dick-pix.
4. International Rates Apply As much as I love globe-trotting, I am not going to fly to Ghana to meet you. Can you at least pretend to be within 35 digits of my zip code?
5. Shelter-In-Everywhere My thrill with your devotions would endure a bit longer if you could linger in the same city for more than 1 hour. When you suddenly beam down into my "Members Near [Me]" feed, it's a little awkward when I read in your "My Activities" log that one hour ago your location was 1,973 miles away.
6. Breeding Contempt I appreciate that my faceless profile pic oozes seductive masculine sexuality. But I like to believe that it only gets better when you get to know me. So, if you are going to "Hotlist" me, at least ping me for a bit more of my profile (or at least a link to my "Courtview" page).
To all my soul-mates out there: thank you for your tireless efforts to make me feel *special*.
Peace out.
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In Praise of Party Friendfinder Sex Workers
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Posted:Apr 9, 2020 3:14 pm
Last Updated:Apr 9, 2020 3:14 pm
13633 Views
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To all those who envision Party Friendfinder as a restive, over-amped marketplace for their personal services, I offer my thoughts and prayers in these tumultuous times. At a time when- more than ever- we all need to get laid, most of your prospective customers are sheltered-in-place under the watchful eyes of family and friends. And those who do enjoy (reckless) mobility have probably been laid-off from their job at the auto parts store and thus have time, but no *roses*.
That said, it is not called *the oldest profession* for nothing. Where there's a Y-chromosome, there's likely a libido and/or a packet of Cialis. I have no doubt that *the Hobby* (such a charming euphemism!) persists, even during the present contagion. And just so! What truly makes America great is the relentless matching of demand and supply in our marketplaces, be they stock exchanges or digital brothels.
In the spirit of such plucky enterprise, I offer a few of my own "New Rules" for Party Friendfinder Sex Workers:
1. If you have been a member of Party Friendfinder for less than 10 minutes and launch a blog to proffer your lascivious talents, you are urged to NOT use the settings that make your posts "friends-only" readable. Given your Party Friendfinder Friends Network has population ZERO, you have a blog *written in the wilderness where no one can see it.*
2. If you populate your profile with *alluring* pix, adjust the camera angle to *hide* the 15 pounds you have gained during your sheltering-in-place. Better yet, do what the rest of us do and use someone else's pictures for your profile.
3. Resist the temptation to self-identify as "Bad". While it conjures visions of all sorts of nasty sex to be enjoyed, I am going run a competing Party Friendfinder sex ad and self-identify as "Worse".
4. If your hilariously-incompetent marketing does miraculously yield a prospective *Hobbyist*- run! Anyone stupid enough to engage a sex worker in the peak our infection cycle is likely not only a vector for COVID-19, but strains 1-18 as well.
5. Stay healthy. Like the rest of us, the most crucial mission for you right now is to get through this shit alive.
Peace out.
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Speculations: The Sex Site Business Model (Overview)
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Posted:Mar 21, 2020 3:48 pm
Last Updated:Mar 22, 2020 12:39 pm
11639 Views
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Having watched in horror (along with everyone else) as my life savings are swept into the dustbin of financial history, my entrepreneurial instincts have been aroused. To be sure my *epic comeback* awaits some signal that we have found a *bottom*- however soft- that justifies deployment of whatever stems and seeds remain of working capital.
So, how then to pass the time? Increased lurking in this community's blogosphere is one of my tonics. To that effect, I have noticed a surge in blog-posts questioning the value of a Gold Membership. A fair question, given we are in a death-spiral into an imminent recession. That said, if you regard (as I do) participation in this community as socialization and *entertainment*, the value of Gold benefits must be compared with our other distractions. Two comparative examples are alcohol or marijuana, both of which have seen increased consumption (yes, I am self-medicating more frequently) in our troubled times. In sum, for all of us, disposable income is finite and now increasingly scarce, so guns-or-butter choices must sadly be made.
All this- in my typically roundabout way- has revived my curiosity about how Party Friendfinder makes its nut.
Before wading in, I strenuously insist that everything that follows is speculative. I am an Party Friendfinder customer and other than providing payment instructions, have had no contact with management. Furthermore, although a few of friends in this community have shared their (presumably informed) insights, I have no mechanism for peeking behind the Party Friendfinder curtain.
Despite our desire to view Party Friendfinder as an authentic *social network* (and I believe the criteria are generally met), Party Friendfinder is also an appendage of the Porn Industry. As distasteful as this might feel (as a social libertarian, I am indifferent), it is this linkage that drives Party Friendfinder's economic engine and mitigates pressure to increase our membership fees to even more rarified heights.
To provide an overview (from an on-line report):
Porn is worth over $100 billion globally- that's bigger than some of the biggest corporations across the world. Around 10% of that comes from the US alone; however the numbers are shrinking, thanks to free porn. However, just to give you an idea, there are 25 million porn sites worldwide and they make up 12% of all websites and over 30% of all web traffic.
Porn is not only pervasive but is effectively a stand-alone economy. And one that circulates its revenues internally through various mechanisms (that I will eventually describe), providing cash flow for a universe of subsidiary businesses, Party Friendfinder included.
To complete my introductory remarks, I ask those of you whose interest I have piqued to consider that- like all other Porn Industry subsidiaries- Party Friendfinder generates revenue through both internal and external sources. Internal refers to membership fees and external refers to income sharing through *referrals* and cross-pollination.
My next blog-post will continue with my conjectures on internal revenue generation.
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Love in the Age of COVID-19: A Prayer
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Posted:Mar 17, 2020 12:39 am
Last Updated:Mar 17, 2020 2:50 pm
12552 Views
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I have begun wonder if the gravest collateral damage of the Digital Age might be our ability to defer gratification. We marveled as Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, et al instigated dream-fulfillment at *the speed of thought* in the late Nineties. We not only had flashier, more diverse, more sensual choices- we could achieve them with phenomenal ease and pace, freeing up abundant leisure-time to indulge them and crave even more.
Now a voracious pandemic, fueled by self-serving political isolation and nativism, shakes and fractures our glass cathedral, threatening to collapse it on top of us. In a few scant weeks we have moved from concern to social-distancing to sheltering in place. While I do not see a scenario by which flatbed trucks roll slowly down our streets, the drivers shouting "Bring out your dead!", I do worry that a generation of social progress hangs in the balance. And yet crowds congregate and cross-contaminate for the silliest of reasons: lining up to buy more guns and paying drunken homage to an Irish missionary.
We gather in the Party Friendfinder community to interact with libertine (if not outright vulgar) transparency. We flirt, we romance and we fuck. To be sure, we also lie, misdirect, argue, bully and grieve. In short, we participate in a social community with a vigorous and very human dynamic and- up until now- relatively little need for safeguards beyond common sense, caution and a thick skin.
Our new paradigm of medical ethics calls for the very isolation our politicians promised...at a microscopic level. There is certainly no need for condoms or scrupulous hygiene when we are advised (soon to be directed?) to sequester ourselves behind walls and avoid contact with any other human being.
On my drive home tonight, I listened to a medical director at one of our local hospitals try and soothe us by promising that they have installed additional ventilators in operating rooms. Now, when the Intensive Care Unit beds are filled with C-19 victims with lungs choking on fluids, the overflow of critically-ill patients can be accommodated...up to a limit that we hope the surging *curve* does not cross. It is enough to make one yearn for 20 Democratic candidates sucking the oxygen out of a television studio.
So, let us respect the need to shelter in place and not unwittingly become a vector, or worse, one of the infected. Let us continue our sexual frolics, but- excepting those who are part-and-parcel of our daily lives- limit our pursuit of new *connections* to messaging, emailing, Snapping, texting, Skyping and- god forbid- voice-to-voice, until we are convinced that the crisis has passed and the world is ours to rebuild.
Peace out.
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Fear of Flying 2020: How to Succeed at Abstinence without Really Trying
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Posted:Mar 12, 2020 12:29 pm
Last Updated:Mar 16, 2020 12:44 am
12246 Views
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Although it is likely that our existential crisis will get even worse before it gets better, I offer-up a meager attempt at lightening our mood.
With the Pandemic officially declared, we are now channeling our inner Rosie the Riveter and patriotically striving to flatten the curve through social distancing. [If nothing else, I am titillated with how enriched our nomenclature has become in the past week!]
I have no doubt that the entire Party Friendfinder community will comply in immediate cessation of all fraternizing, connecting, hooking-up, romping and group-groping- in short, forsaking all the pleasures that presumably brought us all together in the first place. I am certainly no authority (much less proselytizer) on bioethics, but I guess I am on-board with "doing the right thing" and self-quarantining.
However, despite my virtuous intentions, the grim reality is that we may be faced with months of enforced isolation and- like a Catholic cleric- I will assuredly wrestle with the demons of temptation and weakness of the flesh.
To that effect, I have assembled a survival kit for this lockdown:
Big-screen, 4KUHD-ready monitor (check);
600 mbps cable modem (check);
Oculus Quest VR headset (check);
Pornhub Premium upgraded membership (check);
1 quart bottle Wet Lubes Platinum concentrated lubricant (check); and (of course)
Plenty of anti-bac toilettes and toilet paper.
I now feel prepared to wait-out our contagion while vigorously "treating [my] body like an amusement park." ["Seinfeld", 1992].
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Love In the Age of Covid-19
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Posted:Mar 10, 2020 10:55 am
Last Updated:Mar 11, 2020 3:43 pm
12067 Views
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I will start with a caveat that will sooner or later become evident faithful readers: pretty much everything life-lesson notion I bring this table has been (or will be) memorialized in film.
Our ongoing crisis is mindful of Denzel Washington's "Fallen" wherein (spoiler alert) humans careen through the movie transmitting the evil spirit of Azazel through even the most incidental contact. As a first step, allow me to quickly disabuse anyone of the fear that our vulnerability is that perilous. That said, there is growing fear (Topic A: Italy) that the virus is spreading exponentially, despite sometimes draconian containment strategies.
Because Covid-19 is a recent evolutionary development, humans have not had sufficient time to develop a neutralizing *resistance*. (Aside: pandemic conspiracy theorists are feasting on the how/why/implications) Consequently, when we are infected, our bodies fight the symptoms until either the virus is exhausted (96+% of us) or we are *exhausted* (<4% of us). Note that the data science is still in nascent stages, relying on limited (but accumulating) data.
All life forms are in constant contact with germs and the risk of some sort of infection is a life-long existential threat. Our ability to resist, live long and prosper is a unique mix of nature and nurture. In other words, we survive through the graces of good genetics, healthy bodies and building/sustaining resistance through travel and otherwise engaging Life in all its fascinating aspects.
So, how do we live our sexually-liberated and epicurean lives amidst The Pandemic?
Individually, our genetic die is cast. Some people were "born" resistant, others not so much. Genetic engineering has some distance to cover before we can usefully manipulate that which our ancestors have *gifted* us. However, if you have been contemplating a transition to a healthier lifestyle- and somehow the risks of clogged arteries, diabetes, a lousy sex life and general malaise have not been sufficiently motivating- you now have even more exigent incentives for fortifying your body with diet, exercise and rest.
Collectively, bioethics reminds us that even if we are destined to be *survivors*, we are still transmitters and our actions have consequences. Perhaps we are personally immune to Azazel's *evil* but we can still pass the infection along as facilely as any other human. To my mind there is an underlying moral requirement to be self-aware and observe the 5-day self-quarantine (current thinking) should we feel that we exhibit symptoms or have been in contact with those who have symptoms and/or have been diagnosed as positive. While testing kits are in distribution, it will be a while before home-versions are readily available.
In sum, we will continue to live our lives and pursue our fantasies. We are only allotted so much time and energy in this Life and *deferred gratification* can only take us so far. However, staying mindful, informed and selfless in our choices is (and always will be) the *right thing to do*.
To address a lingering question: are we all *extras* in "Walking Dead- Season 2", reeling through this crisis, awaiting a final *answer* from CDC that we will ALL eventually be infected? At this point there is way more *speculation* than *science*, so we will all await our fate with bated breath (properly masked, of course).
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Preamble
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Posted:Mar 10, 2020 12:28 am
Last Updated:Mar 16, 2020 12:39 am
13061 Views
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By Way of Introduction
While the Party Friendfinder kaleidoscope offers up limitless varietals of shock and awe, its blogosphere immediately and fixedly resonated with me. For nigh a couple of years, I have prowled its brightly-lit roads and shadowy alleyways, rarely frustrated in my search for engaging stories, insights, commentary and graphic delights.
Up until now, my schedule constrained my ability to do more than imbibe the creative energies of others and offer up my own spontaneous responses (to be sure, occasionally supported by rapid-fire googling and wordsmithing). No one appreciates more than I the energy and commitment required to sustain a blog and I long feared that I could not muster enough time to do it justice.
At this moment I find myself sidelined with an athletic injury that will require several weeks- if not a few months- recovery. To that effect, my oft-referenced sessions at the gym or on local trails are curtailed and my calendar has suddenly accumulated some slack.
So I will breathe some Life into this blog and hope make it a constant in this community.
Intent
"The unexamined life is not worth living," Socrates challenged his accusers at the trial that ended with his iconic cup of Hemlock.
As with other bloggers, I aspire to present- in varying inflections (mediation, reaction. stimulation and the like)- the worlds that connect us. I use the plural because I share Oscar Wilde's perception that we each live three lives- a public, a private and a secret life. While we usually strive to place them in mutually-exclusive orbits about our Sun/Ego, their transits inevitably coincide and their heavenly bodies periodically collide.
Indeed, it is in these nexi that Life gets interesting and the proverbial shit gets real. Our own uncomfortable Twilight Zones.
And
A shout out to the many bloggers and correspondents that have encouraged me: Enjoy!
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To link to this blog (justaguyinalaska) use [blog justaguyinalaska] in your messages.
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